Instant Oatmeal Muffins

You need:

• 3/4 cup milk
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup veg. oil
• 1 cup flour
• 3 packets of single-serve instant oatmeal (any flavor)
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tbsp cinnamon, nutmeg, or some combination of the two
• 1/4 tsp allspice
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp white or brown sugar
• (Optional) 1 cup of dried fruit or nuts, such as raisins, currants, chopped apple, dates, and walnuts. Fruit or nuts related to the selected oatmeal flavor work best.

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 deg. F
2. Grease muffin pan or line with paper cups
3. Combine dried fruit/nuts, milk, 1/3 cup sugar, and oil
4. In a separate bowl, mx together flour, oatmeal, baking powder, cinnamon/nutmeg, allspice and salt
5. Combine bowls and stir just enough to mix well
6. Spoon evenly into muffin cups
7. Using the remaining 1 tbsp white or brown sugar, sprinkle 1/4 tsp over the top of each muffin batter
8. Bake for 20 minutes

I wouldn't mix and match oatmeal flavors, but you can probably use any instant oatmeal on the market. Creativity is key here.

I used Apple Cinnamon instant oatmeal, and they were quite good! Either lower the heat or cook them for slightly less time, as they got slightly crispy. Still good though! Enjoy!

Woot's Version of "The Office"

I like the British version better.

Cue theme music. Roll footage of small town in Pennsylvania. Cut to paper company offices.

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Listen up everybody! Gather round, and witness the limit-…the non-limits I am willing to go to for you, my loyal employees.

HEARTHROB WITH BAD HAIR smirks directly at the camera.

HOT MOUSY SECRETARY exchanges knowing glances with OTHER BELEAGUERED EMPLOYEES.

INCOMPETENT BOSS pulls away a tablecloth revealing a Cuisinart Brew Central 12-Cup Coffee Maker.

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Ta-da!

NUTBALL SUCK-UP
My god. It’s beautiful.

DITZY INDIAN GIRL
What was wrong with the old coffee maker?

ADORABLY-DEPRESSED BLACK GUY
Nothing.

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Not true. That’s not true. That old coffee maker didn’t make lattes or cappuccinos.

DITZY INDIAN GIRL
It didn’t?

CUT TO: Face to face interview.

DITZY INDIAN GIRL
What have I been drinking this whole time?

CUT BACK.

HEARTTHROB WITH BAD HAIR
Michael, this machine doesn’t make any of those things either.

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Don’t be negative. Now, I will show you how this works.

CREEPY BALD FAT GUY
I’m going back to my desk now.

SHRILL TINY CAT-LADY
Michael we all put in money for that old coffee maker!

NUTBALL SUCK-UP
Everyone pay attention! Michael is about to impart some wisdom on this new piece of equipment!

HEARTTHROB WITH BAD HAIR makes a duck face and winks as the camera.

CUT TO: Face to face interview

NUTBALL SUCK-UP
Very early in life boys in my family are taught that you must know your enemy, which in this case means all machinery you use on the farm, for if given half a chance it will kill you. Once a boy can successfully navigate the gauntlet of combine blades, he is proclaimed a man.

CUT BACK.

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Now this thing has a lot of different bells and whistles, let’s see, okay here’s the manual. Well I’ll just throw that away.

HOT MOUSY SECRETARY
Does it have a light that lets you know it’s time to clean it? So maybe someone else will finally clean it?

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Yes! Yes it does! Good eye, Pam!

CUT TO: Face to face interview.

HOT MOUSY SECRETARY
It doesn’t matter. No one’s ever going to clean that thing if I don’t.

CUT BACK.

GAY LATINO EMPLOYEE
Can you program it to turn on at a certain time?

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Yes, but that would be really dumb because why would you want it to make coffee later if you’re standing at the coffee maker. Come on people, let’s take this seriously.

SHRILL TINY CAT-LADY
Does it at least have an automatic shut-off for safety?

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Of course!

ADORABLY-DEPRESSED BLACK GUY
Michael. Is that a refurbished unit?

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Absolutely! Our last coffee maker was not nearly as furbished as this, and when I saw that there were models available REfurbished, for much cheaper I might add, I pounced. Because that’s what leaders do.

HOT MOUSY SECRETARY
It still doesn’t make lattes or cappuccinos.

Employees file out of the room, disgusted. HEARTTHROB WITH BAD HAIR smiles smugly at the camera.

CUT TO: Face to face interview.

INCOMPETENT BOSS
Part of being a good boss means knowing when to give your employees a little something new, like a coffee maker, but then taking it back to buy the same one you used to have. Because that teaches them that what they have could be taken away at any time. And then given back.

(from woot.com, attempting to sell an overpriced coffee maker. It was cute, though.)

Farewell, Abby

From Job, Chapter 3, 20 - 26:

Why is light given to those in misery
And life to the bitter of soul?

To those who long for death that does not come?
Who search for it more than for hidden treasure?

Who are filled with gladness
And rejoice when they reach the grave?

For sighing comes to me instead of food.
My groans pour out like water.

What I feared has come upon me;
What I dreaded has happened to me.

I have no peace, no quietness;
I have no rest, but only turmoil.

From Job, Chapter 38, 16 - 19:

Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
Or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been shown to you?

What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?

Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me if you know all this.

If I Knew Then

If I Knew Then

If I knew then what I know now

It might not have been so easy

To reject you just because

You did everything to please me

If I knew then what I know now

I’d appreciate how rare

It is to find someone in this world

Who honestly and truly cares

The wisdom of years eviscerates fears

Youth has a way of sowing

And so, with hindsight that’s 20/20

I’ll be content with knowing

That someone, somewhere along the way

Loved me for who I was

And treated me the way, it seems,

That now nobody does

You have a life; I’d never dream

Of ruining that, but how

Different things might have been

If I knew then what I know now.

-elocin, 2007

Small

The world is full of small people—

Not little, but small.

The kind who view the world in a box

and choose right and wrong

based on their minimal perception

then force others to conform

to their way of thinking

or else suffer the consequences.

People like this clutter the world

with their petty, diminutive view

of Life the way it ought to be

instead of the way it is.

People like this are hurtful

People like this are wrong

People like this ruin people like us

(if you can be joined

in the group of those

who step back to view the larger picture,

and make appropriate judgments based on facts,

not opinions).

I despise small people

I hurt when they choose to categorize me

It affects me when they judge me

as if I didn’t matter.

Would not the world be better

if everyone expanded

their view in order to avoid

snap judgments and biased opinions?

I think it would

and yet I vow

to allow others their choice

as I would wish to have from them.

Summer Passing

For Anfal.

Summer Passing

My heart cries when summer dies
The autumn winds blow it away
The birds find somewhere else
To build their homes

The flowers—
So beautiful at blooming!—
Wilt and wither with each passing day
Even the sun moves away
Unwilling to weather the cold winter’s blast

I stand at the precipice
Mourning
Tears streaming softly
Silently
Watching Life go on without me
As I tuck you away in my heart

With each beat
With each breath
You live in my life
You live in my love
I carry you with me wherever I go
And when, at last,
I see you again
My joy will be great
But I will know
You’ve been there the whole time.

-2007

Fury

Fury
by elocin

Trickling, seething, dripping
disdain fills my entire being
I feel a wave wash over me
the tide is pulling me in
the dolphins are calling
the seagulls screeching
crying out to me
to join them.
I cannot
stop
myself.
I go willingly,
hopefully, wanting
it to encompass my soul.
Allowing it to fill my body with
red-hot emotion, pushing and pulling
me in until I am over my head and then
I call out—but it is too late. I have succumbed
To the fury inside and it boils over and I scream.

-2004